Times

Shakespeare said "Time is the justice that examines all offenders." Every human being lives within time, and we have no control over it. Isn't is incredible to then recognize that only God is outside of time and not only in control of time itself, but in control of everything? 

One of my favorite authors, Henry David Thoreau said "Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in." Time can be scary, yes, and can feel defeating. It is also an incredible gift that allows us to cherish this life God has given us. Time is never guaranteed even though we all function under its rules. Time is a beautiful thing because without it there would be no seasons. No growth, rebirth, restoration, redemption, HOPE. What is behind us is already gone, but there is great hope in knowing that each second is a new one that has never happened before. Still, time is hard. With this growth there is also decline. With life there is also death. With joy there is also sorrow. There will be hard times. There have been hard times. God never said there wouldn't be hard times. But He does promise us that He will be there with us through them, deliver us from pain, and Has endured the greatest sorrow beyond all human understanding in giving His Son to suffer rejection, death, and abandonment from his father. There is no hard time that we can go through that God doesn't understand. 

Here's an incredible promise from Paul: 
"And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear." (1 Corinthians 10:13)
Job 36:15 says "But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction."
Psalm 119:50 says "My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life."


One of my favorite songs is by Tenth Avenue North called "Times." Listen to this song, read the lyrics, and remember that if you are in a season of life of hardship and suffering, God is there. He knows. He weeps with you. He loves you, and He will deliver you from all your pain. We can never see past where we are in time, but God does and He has PROMISED that He "will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." (Revelation 21:4)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRN0QPXrdR8
I know I need You
I need to love You
I love to see You, but it's been so long
I long to feel You
I feel this need for You
And I need to hear You, is that so wrong?

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Now You pull me near You
When we're close, I fear You
Still I'm afraid to tell You, all that I've done
Are You done forgiving?
Oh can You look past my pretending?
Lord, I'm so tired of defending, what I've become
What have I become?

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

I hear You say,
"My love is over. It's underneath.
It's inside. It's in between.
The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.
The times that you question, 'Is this for real? '
The times you're broken.
The times that you mend.
The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.
Well, My love is over, it's underneath.
It's inside, it's in between.
These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.
The times you're hurting.
The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.
I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I'm there through your heartache.
I'm there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.
I don't care where you fall, where you have been.
I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.
It never ends."

Change: wavin' hello, wavin' goodbye

Tonight as I looked out onto the ocean as the sun went down I had this staggering moment upon remembering that at this time last summer I was in France looking out onto a different ocean, during a different time of my life, surrounded by different people. Now I have new things to add to the past I look back on since my time in France, as well as new hopes and ideas of the future. It is one of life's greatest ironies that change is the only thing that is constant. What is not ironic but still often  unfathomable is that with God we have another constant that defines all others and makes hope immutable.

If you watch the waves long enough you can begin to freak yourself out a little bit. A million existential questions fall like an avalanche and you begin to really ponder just how many people there are in this world, how many decisions you are capable of making, what is time, and the overwhelming reality of humanity's limitations juxtaposed with its hunger for understanding. No matter what mankind can predict, how far science can go, what knowledge and intelligence man has unveiled, we CAN NOT fully know what tomorrow will bring. We know what to expect, but that is quite another thing. That's just crazy. The only security, the only assurance, the only hope we have and can trust in is in what Christ has already done and what He has promised to do.

I read this poem in high school and again this year in a literature class and I feel like it's fitting for this topic.
Dover Beach by Matthew Arnold

The sea is calm to-night.
The tide is full, the moon lies fair
Upon the straits; on the French coast the light
Gleams and is gone; the cliffs of England stand;
Glimmering and vast, out in the tranquil bay.
Come to the window, sweet is the night-air!
Only, from the long line of spray
Where the sea meets the moon-blanched land,
Listen! you hear the grating roar
Of pebbles which the waves draw back, and fling,
At their return, up the high strand,
Begin, and cease, and then again begin,
With tremulous cadence slow, and bring
The eternal note of sadness in.

Sophocles long ago
Heard it on the A gaean, and it brought
Into his mind the turbid ebb and flow
Of human misery; we
Find also in the sound a thought,
Hearing it by this distant northern sea.

The Sea of Faith
Was once, too, at the full, and round earth's shore
Lay like the folds of a bright girdle furled.
But now I only hear
Its melancholy, long, withdrawing roar,
Retreating, to the breath
Of the night-wind, down the vast edges drear
And naked shingles of the world.

Ah, love, let us be true
To one another! for the world, which seems
To lie before us like a land of dreams,
So various, so beautiful, so new,
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
And we are here as on a darkling plain
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash by night.

I used to hate poetry because I didn't get it. It reminds me of 1 Corinthians 2:14, "The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned." We often reject what we don't understand. Pride maybe? How can we have confidence in something we don't know? We get to know that something. God is revealed through His Living Word.

The sea is more than a raging force of nature in this poem; it is a vast mystery that is unpredictable, powerful, and seemingly endless. But it is also tranquil, serene, and tonight it happens to be calm. Tomorrow it may be a raging storm, but not tonight. Men before us have stood and looked out at the ocean at night to contemplate life's complexities. Human nature hasn't changed...it is in our nature to question and wonder. The tide ebbs and flows like our sorrows, and just as a beach has no solid foundation and the waves can grab the shores and fling its pebbles, people have begun to lose hope in God, society and themselves. Still, we must be true to one another because in the tempests of life we cling to love! When we look at the ocean there is a sense of helplessness and a feeling of no control. The sea can't be trusted--it has the power to destroy, but we still admire its beauty and we bask in its restorative power. The melody of waves beating upon the shores can in one time of life a haunting chant and in the next a soothing lullaby. In a raging storm we look for the beacon of light, the glimpse of land, and we cling to hope, love, and truth. That is God. 

Man is in the chaos and confusion of our culture and society. We cling to the wrong things that cannot satisfy, cannot rescue us, cannot SAVE us! We forget what we are fighting for, and see only the treachery of the waves and not their beauty or the new tide they bring in. A raging storm may come tomorrow, but tonight I will "go to the window" for the night air is sweet, and we are called to face the storms when they come. We don't have to fear change...God controls the waters and heavens, he controls our today and tomorrow, and there will come a day when the storms forever end! What a land of dreams that will be :) Love you all.

He's The One

Hello Relationships Conference!
What an incredible weekend it's been so far. Our speakers Sean and Kim Vollendorf were so amazing, I'm so thankful they were here to talk to us about building and finding the kinds of relationships that glorify God. It's a hard subject to address because relationships are so complex, but their own story is so so sweet and encouraging in the way they trusted God through years of singleness and other relationships that you can't help but look at them and say "They've got it right!" They are an adorable, hilarious couple whose lives are centered on Christ and recognize their marriage is about furthering God's kingdom. It was such a beautiful, inspiring thing to witness and I'd like to pass on some things that I learned from them to you!

We all know how different men and women are, but it was so enlightening to actually look at what scripture says about men and women. Man was "formed" while woman was "fashioned," and though we can laugh and joke about the way men often have no clue why women don't say what they mean and women can't understand why men don't feel the need to talk about everything, God created woman for man. The most important thing to remember is that we are all created for the same purpose i.e. to be like Christ. Romans 8:29 says "For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among any brothers." Man and woman are unified in the mission to be like God's Son.

God called everything He created "good," but man alone was not good. The Vollendorfs outlined these 3 steps in finding Mr. or Mrs. Right: 1. Master 2. Mission 3. Mate- When Adam was with God in the garden he was able to cultivate his relationship with God. Then God gave Adam a mission to rule over the creatures of the earth and give them names, and cultivate the garden. Only after this did God give Adam a mate in Eve. Imagine Adam waking up from this sleep God put him under to awake and find Eve! Not another beast to name, but a creature that was like him with flesh and bones and God's image in her as it was in Adam. That's incredible. God always knows what He is doing, which is why He didn't first create Adam, then Eve, then give them both a mission, then have an intimate relationship with God Himself. First we must recognize who our Master is, who we will follow and who we will serve. Only when we are walking with God can we follow Him to fulfill His mission for our lives and serve His will. If we don't know who we are, who our Master is or where we are going we can not and should not be in a relationship. Then God will bring a mate. When I think how I wanted the mate part to come around 3 years ago I am humored/embarrassed/relieved because I see now how had it been in my control I would have robbed myself of the opportunity to first fall in love with God. I am so thankful He is in control! This time with the Master is a time of singleness. This time is a gift, not a burden, not a waiting period, because in this time you can be in complete intimacy only with God. 1 Corinthians 7:35 talks about singleness in this way: "I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord."

Two foundational principles the couple presented were these: 1. Who you marry will make or break you, 2. God gives the best to those who leave the choice to Him. They asked us if we really believed God had our best interest at heart? If we believe that then why would we ever try to do it ourselves? God is trustworthy and if we want God's best for our life we must trust Him. I will be the first to admit that I have not left the choice to Him. God is writing all of our love stories and I have often shoved Him aside to say "I have a better idea!" "But this is what I want!" "Thanks but I can take it from here, I mean, I know what I want." Ha ha. I've plucked the pen from His hand too often. We forget He created each and every one of us, is out of time and space and sees our story in its entirety, not just chapters or pages like we do. He knows us and He knows what is best! So why would we ever think we know better?! Kim spent 10 years single before marrying Sean and I was completely amazed and inspired by this godly woman. One thing she said that really hit home for me was that in her time of singleness she completely surrendered to God and said, "If I end my life single or married I will not be disappointed in God's plan for me." Isaiah 49:23 says "...then you will know that I am the LORD; those who hope in me will not be disappointed." My hope had been in a future relationship not with God, but with a man. I have been my own enemy for so long and it is so freeing to lay every desire at God's feet and say "No matter what, I am going to trust and follow you God." Do not hope in anything but what Christ has promised you-and that is beyond what we could ever imagine or hope for.

I have read several books and bible studies on looking for the right person, waiting for the right person, if "the one" is really out there, how to be the kind of woman a godly man would want, marriage, singleness, dating, etc, etc. But through this conference I felt so driven to not ever lower my standards for a man who is a fully devoted follower of Christ, and to remember that I have already found the only ONE who can and will love and fulfill me forever. A relationship or spouse cannot fill a void that only God can fill. You all will marry someone you date, so why would you ever date someone you couldn't or wouldn't marry? It's simple, but when we let ourselves become entangled by the pursuit and idea of romance and love we can get caught in a fog of infatuation, attachment, compromise, and heartbreak. Guard your heart everyone! Give it to the Lord and He will protect it until a worthy individual comes to Him to ask for it. Relationships were made by God. Love, marriage, and sex was created by God, so honor it all and honor Him. Love is a beautiful thing!!!

Are there any questions?

A few days back I was reading My Utmost For His Highest and was really struck by Oswald Chambers' reflection on John 16:23, "And in that day ye shall ask Me nothing." Chambers says:
     
     "When is 'that day'? When the Ascended Lord makes you one with the Father. In that day you will   be one with the Father as Jesus is, and 'in that day,' Jesus says, 'ye shall ask Me nothing.' Until the resurrection life of Jesus is manifested in you, you want to ask this and that; then after a while you find all questions gone, you do not seem to have any left to ask. You have come to the place of entire reliance on the resurrection life of Jesus which brings you into perfect contact with the purpose of God. Are you living that life now? If not, why shouldn't you? There may be any number of things dark to your understanding, but they do not come in between your heart and God. 'And in that day ye shall ask Me no question'--you do not need to, ou are so certain that God will bring things out in accordance with His will. John 14:1 has become the real state of your heart, and there are no more questions to be asked. If anything is a mystery to you and it is coming in between you and God, never look for the explanation in your intellect, look for it in your disposition, it is that which is wrong. When once your disposition is willing to submit to the life of Jesus, the understanding will be perfectly clear, and you will get to the place where there is no distance between the Father and His child because the Lord had made you one, and 'in that day ye shall ask Me no question.'

I don't know about all of you, but I ask God A LOT of questions. Sometimes subconsciously, often consciously, sometimes spoken, often not...still I ask Him questions. How? Why? When? Where? What? Who? It's like I'm a CSI agent interrogating my suspect because I want answers! The ironic things is that if all I'm looking for is truth, Jesus must just look himself up and down, arms extended, with a loving smirk back at me and say, "Daughter, here I am. Here is my Word. Here is my Spirit. This is your answer." I think it's incredible to imagine being able to ask God absolutely anything and in the moment not needing to or wanting to anymore. It's not a case of being lost for words, it is complete trust. Like Chambers said, so much is a mystery and will remain in the dark, but this shouldn't in any way separate our hearts from God. Believing that God is in control and trusting His purpose for all of us brings us to a place of "entire reliance on the resurrection life of Jesus."

This summer Kaleo groups are distributed into different churches for the 9 weeks we are here and for the first time I am attending a Southern Baptist Church. It's a change from my nondenominational church back at school, but I am glad for a look at a different method with the same truth. I don't know if any of you have ever seen The Iron Giant, but it's an amazing animated film about a metal alien robot who comes to earth, unaware that he was actually created as a great weapon, who is discovered by a boy who becomes his best friend and must protect him from himself and the government. The Iron Giant is good and sweet, but as time goes on his instincts start to control him and he must suppress the violent nature that he so desperately wishes he didn't have. Hate to ruin the movie for ya but He ends up sacrificing himself to save the boy's town, but it's okay because he has this really cool ability to be broken up into a ton of parts and a little light on top of his head signals for all the parts to come back together again. Long summary for a very simple movie, but it's so legit! How is this relevant? Well I was just thinking how if the church is all one body, then right now we are like a discombobulated iron giant with our head being our united belief in Jesus that blinks and wants to restore all the parts to be made whole again. What unites us is far more important than what divides us.

So anyway, today our pastor talked about slandering God's power. It was such a difficult subject to listen to that I admire the truth and conviction the pastor preached from in his message. It took courage to address this topic, and it helped 2 of our guys answer some really tough questions for a nonbeliever during beach evangelism today. He was looking at natural disasters from a biblical perspective and asking where is God in all this? Is God really in control? Can we trust in Him? Can God really be loving and allow these things to happen? Deep, deep, difficult, agonizing questions. The recent tragedies from tornadoes are still such fresh wounds, so I was initially taken aback when the pastor launched in to this topic. I thought to myself at first, how can he talk about this when people haven't even had time to heal? Right now people are grieving and we don't want to talk about these questions right now because we don't want to hear the answers. I thought, how dare I have any sort of perspective on this when me and my loved ones are safe at the moment? The question, if God has control over everything, why does He not step in to stop these natural disasters? What is worse, to believe God is in control and He does allow these things to happen and does not step in, or that He is really not in control of it all? We cannot hope and believe that He is in control of your life and mine and at the same time wish that He didn't have control of the weather and disasters so that we wouldn't have to blame Him for the bad things or ask why He didn't stop them. It's so hard. It's a catch-22. I do not have enough life experience to have a completely legitimate perspective, but the absolute truth that is not relative because it never changes and I can subsequently be completely confident in even at this point in my life is that GOD IS IN CONTROL. I'm so glad I'm not.

We have so many questions and always will, and God always opens up the floor for questions, but He wants us to recognize that in our human states in our time on earth we cannot comprehend His eternal perspective. His ways our not ours, but they are perfect and infinite whereas ours are flawed, ignorant and finite. There is pain, there are questions with no answers. But there is hope, always hope. Always a flicker of it and that hope is found in Jesus who unites the body and promises us eternal life. No guilt in life, no fear in death, this is the power of Christ in me!

Jesus is the peace that calms the storm. He speaks to the wind. Trust Him to carry you. Cling to Him. In these raging storms at sea He is the Rock we can hold on to.

Come on get happy!

"So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday ordinary life--your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life--and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him." Romans 12:1 (MSG)

The daily grind began Monday. The real world. Work from 8 am until 4 pm. Completely normal. Well, I hate to admit that coming into this program I had an understanding that we would be working full-time jobs during the course of the 9 weeks are here, BUT I hadn't quite grasped that the job we get may not live up to our expectations. If there was an ashamed face here I would put it, but I will readily confess that I did not respond well at first to my new job at a beach department store. Sounds fun and simple right? That's not how I felt after being on my feet 8 hours on Monday with no one to talk to. I am the only one from my project at my job and I was beginning to come up with all these negative thoughts about how this wasn't how I wanted to spend my summer and how I had it worse than everyone else and I didn't know how I was going to show any sort of joy to witness about Christ in this environment. Wah wah waaah. I am now embarrassed by my initial reaction. I was so emotional after my first few days (sorry mom and to everyone else who had to hear about it) because I didn't understand how I ended up where I did. I had to ask myself, what is the real issue here? I began to pray for God to renew my mindset and trust that He had placed me there for a purpose. I have been meditating on Isaiah 26:3, "You will keep perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." I would repeat this again and again in my mind and pray for a steadfast mind. My group leader provided me with the Colossians 3:23 which says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." I thank God for His Word, His Spirit, and people. Those three things are what we carry in this life to draw us closer to Him, bring us back to truth, and be thankful. I had to let go of my pride and realize:
1. I was thankful to have a job
2. This is only for 8 weeks
3. I am dishonoring and disrespecting my coworkers who make it their career to work at this store by disliking it
4. It's not about me and my comfort, in fact I prayed that God would stretch me this summer and put me out of my comfort zone
5. I am here to plant seeds in the hearts of the people I work with and encounter so they may come to know the one true God and His Son Jesus Christ
6. Everyday I have the opportunity to work and be happy, some don't have this luxury
7. Attitude is a choice
8. How dare I compare my lot with another's? I am so undeservedly blessed
9. I wake up everyday with health, love, and hope for my future...many don't
10. God gave us a spirit of self-discipline
I have taken for granted so much in the past and even after just a few days at this job I have a fuller appreciation for my Learning Center job at home (best job in the whole world/my second home), and a newfound respect for anyone in retail. I greatly admire the way many of my coworkers work so diligently and I realized that I can learn from them just as much as I hope they can learn from me.

I am reading a book called Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow and in the very first chapter she introduces the wisdom of a woman named Ella, who was a missionary with the pygmies in Africa for 52 years. In her diary they found this prescription for contentment:

• Never allow yourself to complain about anything--not even the weather
• Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else
• Never compare your lot with another's
• Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise
• Never dwell on tomorrow--remember that tomorrow is God's, not ours.

Wow. This woman was living in a hut in Africa without air conditioning, readily available water, or any modern conveniences and she was completely content. Sure there were probably lingering thoughts that had the potential to wander to irritation, negatively, bitterness, anger, disappointment, or sadness, but she didn't! Satan knows how to attack us by our own emotions, but we can fight back and choose to be happy in whatever ordinary situation there is.

My day may not be spent doing anything extraordinarily significant, but it is important that I do it. I have a place and purpose at this job that I know God can use me in if I allow Him to work through it. I am so thankful that God changes my anxious, wavering, irrational heart and brings me back to the truth in Him. I want to make the most of every moment I am here, and I am so excited for everyone at Kaleo who has this opportunity to be working in the real world in real jobs with real people. I pray we can all be the change we want to see in the world.

Forgive my initial brattiness (that's the only word I can use to describe it) and boohooing about a new kind of work that everyone out there must eventually do!

I am praying for all of you. Thank you for encouraging and supporting me and this program. Keep praying and reading God's Word...I never knew what power it really has. Life is good not because everything is peachy but because God is good, He loves us and He wants us to give Him everything. Offer up your everyday lives to Him!