The daily grind began Monday. The real world. Work from 8 am until 4 pm. Completely normal. Well, I hate to admit that coming into this program I had an understanding that we would be working full-time jobs during the course of the 9 weeks are here, BUT I hadn't quite grasped that the job we get may not live up to our expectations. If there was an ashamed face here I would put it, but I will readily confess that I did not respond well at first to my new job at a beach department store. Sounds fun and simple right? That's not how I felt after being on my feet 8 hours on Monday with no one to talk to. I am the only one from my project at my job and I was beginning to come up with all these negative thoughts about how this wasn't how I wanted to spend my summer and how I had it worse than everyone else and I didn't know how I was going to show any sort of joy to witness about Christ in this environment. Wah wah waaah. I am now embarrassed by my initial reaction. I was so emotional after my first few days (sorry mom and to everyone else who had to hear about it) because I didn't understand how I ended up where I did. I had to ask myself, what is the real issue here? I began to pray for God to renew my mindset and trust that He had placed me there for a purpose. I have been meditating on Isaiah 26:3, "You will keep perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." I would repeat this again and again in my mind and pray for a steadfast mind. My group leader provided me with the Colossians 3:23 which says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." I thank God for His Word, His Spirit, and people. Those three things are what we carry in this life to draw us closer to Him, bring us back to truth, and be thankful. I had to let go of my pride and realize:
1. I was thankful to have a job
2. This is only for 8 weeks
3. I am dishonoring and disrespecting my coworkers who make it their career to work at this store by disliking it
4. It's not about me and my comfort, in fact I prayed that God would stretch me this summer and put me out of my comfort zone
5. I am here to plant seeds in the hearts of the people I work with and encounter so they may come to know the one true God and His Son Jesus Christ
6. Everyday I have the opportunity to work and be happy, some don't have this luxury
7. Attitude is a choice
8. How dare I compare my lot with another's? I am so undeservedly blessed
9. I wake up everyday with health, love, and hope for my future...many don't
10. God gave us a spirit of self-discipline
I have taken for granted so much in the past and even after just a few days at this job I have a fuller appreciation for my Learning Center job at home (best job in the whole world/my second home), and a newfound respect for anyone in retail. I greatly admire the way many of my coworkers work so diligently and I realized that I can learn from them just as much as I hope they can learn from me.
I am reading a book called Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow and in the very first chapter she introduces the wisdom of a woman named Ella, who was a missionary with the pygmies in Africa for 52 years. In her diary they found this prescription for contentment:
- Never allow yourself to complain about anything--not even the weather
- Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else
- Never compare your lot with another's
- Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise
- Never dwell on tomorrow--remember that tomorrow is God's, not ours.
My day may not be spent doing anything extraordinarily significant, but it is important that I do it. I have a place and purpose at this job that I know God can use me in if I allow Him to work through it. I am so thankful that God changes my anxious, wavering, irrational heart and brings me back to the truth in Him. I want to make the most of every moment I am here, and I am so excited for everyone at Kaleo who has this opportunity to be working in the real world in real jobs with real people. I pray we can all be the change we want to see in the world.
Forgive my initial brattiness (that's the only word I can use to describe it) and boohooing about a new kind of work that everyone out there must eventually do!
I am praying for all of you. Thank you for encouraging and supporting me and this program. Keep praying and reading God's Word...I never knew what power it really has. Life is good not because everything is peachy but because God is good, He loves us and He wants us to give Him everything. Offer up your everyday lives to Him!
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