He's The One

Hello Relationships Conference!
What an incredible weekend it's been so far. Our speakers Sean and Kim Vollendorf were so amazing, I'm so thankful they were here to talk to us about building and finding the kinds of relationships that glorify God. It's a hard subject to address because relationships are so complex, but their own story is so so sweet and encouraging in the way they trusted God through years of singleness and other relationships that you can't help but look at them and say "They've got it right!" They are an adorable, hilarious couple whose lives are centered on Christ and recognize their marriage is about furthering God's kingdom. It was such a beautiful, inspiring thing to witness and I'd like to pass on some things that I learned from them to you!

We all know how different men and women are, but it was so enlightening to actually look at what scripture says about men and women. Man was "formed" while woman was "fashioned," and though we can laugh and joke about the way men often have no clue why women don't say what they mean and women can't understand why men don't feel the need to talk about everything, God created woman for man. The most important thing to remember is that we are all created for the same purpose i.e. to be like Christ. Romans 8:29 says "For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among any brothers." Man and woman are unified in the mission to be like God's Son.

God called everything He created "good," but man alone was not good. The Vollendorfs outlined these 3 steps in finding Mr. or Mrs. Right: 1. Master 2. Mission 3. Mate- When Adam was with God in the garden he was able to cultivate his relationship with God. Then God gave Adam a mission to rule over the creatures of the earth and give them names, and cultivate the garden. Only after this did God give Adam a mate in Eve. Imagine Adam waking up from this sleep God put him under to awake and find Eve! Not another beast to name, but a creature that was like him with flesh and bones and God's image in her as it was in Adam. That's incredible. God always knows what He is doing, which is why He didn't first create Adam, then Eve, then give them both a mission, then have an intimate relationship with God Himself. First we must recognize who our Master is, who we will follow and who we will serve. Only when we are walking with God can we follow Him to fulfill His mission for our lives and serve His will. If we don't know who we are, who our Master is or where we are going we can not and should not be in a relationship. Then God will bring a mate. When I think how I wanted the mate part to come around 3 years ago I am humored/embarrassed/relieved because I see now how had it been in my control I would have robbed myself of the opportunity to first fall in love with God. I am so thankful He is in control! This time with the Master is a time of singleness. This time is a gift, not a burden, not a waiting period, because in this time you can be in complete intimacy only with God. 1 Corinthians 7:35 talks about singleness in this way: "I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord."

Two foundational principles the couple presented were these: 1. Who you marry will make or break you, 2. God gives the best to those who leave the choice to Him. They asked us if we really believed God had our best interest at heart? If we believe that then why would we ever try to do it ourselves? God is trustworthy and if we want God's best for our life we must trust Him. I will be the first to admit that I have not left the choice to Him. God is writing all of our love stories and I have often shoved Him aside to say "I have a better idea!" "But this is what I want!" "Thanks but I can take it from here, I mean, I know what I want." Ha ha. I've plucked the pen from His hand too often. We forget He created each and every one of us, is out of time and space and sees our story in its entirety, not just chapters or pages like we do. He knows us and He knows what is best! So why would we ever think we know better?! Kim spent 10 years single before marrying Sean and I was completely amazed and inspired by this godly woman. One thing she said that really hit home for me was that in her time of singleness she completely surrendered to God and said, "If I end my life single or married I will not be disappointed in God's plan for me." Isaiah 49:23 says "...then you will know that I am the LORD; those who hope in me will not be disappointed." My hope had been in a future relationship not with God, but with a man. I have been my own enemy for so long and it is so freeing to lay every desire at God's feet and say "No matter what, I am going to trust and follow you God." Do not hope in anything but what Christ has promised you-and that is beyond what we could ever imagine or hope for.

I have read several books and bible studies on looking for the right person, waiting for the right person, if "the one" is really out there, how to be the kind of woman a godly man would want, marriage, singleness, dating, etc, etc. But through this conference I felt so driven to not ever lower my standards for a man who is a fully devoted follower of Christ, and to remember that I have already found the only ONE who can and will love and fulfill me forever. A relationship or spouse cannot fill a void that only God can fill. You all will marry someone you date, so why would you ever date someone you couldn't or wouldn't marry? It's simple, but when we let ourselves become entangled by the pursuit and idea of romance and love we can get caught in a fog of infatuation, attachment, compromise, and heartbreak. Guard your heart everyone! Give it to the Lord and He will protect it until a worthy individual comes to Him to ask for it. Relationships were made by God. Love, marriage, and sex was created by God, so honor it all and honor Him. Love is a beautiful thing!!!